Sometimes it gets so serious that we just need to find a way to laugh

Hillary Clinton once said she might not run for president because she loves having time to hang out with her friends. Thankfully, most of her friends live in Iowa, New Hampshire, Ohio, Florida, and the great state of Pennsylvania." –Seth Meyers
I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.

                 - Will Rogers
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

                    - Mark Twain
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

                                                                       - P. J. O'Rourke
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We're the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad.

- Barack Obama
My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.

          - Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) expressing concern during a congressional hearing that the presence of a large number of American soldiers might upend the island of Guam
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
- Dan Quayle
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Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya.
         - Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008
Poor Atlanta…what a thing they went through…drivers were stranded, traffic was at a standstill and everyone was asking the same question:

'What did we do to piss off Chris Christie?'"

–Bill Maher
Pundits are saying this could hurt his 2016 presidential campaign. The ironic thing is this: Now that Christie is denying everything he sounds even more presidential, doesn't he?
–Jay Leno
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